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Tom Cruise confirms he’ll play pilot of cargo airplane hauling rubber canine shit out of Hong Kong in ‘Prime Gun 2’

MALIBU, Calif. — Actor Tom Cruise has confirmed that “Prime Gun 2” is occurring, and he’ll be taking over the position of a cargo airplane pilot who hauls rubber canine shit out of Hong Kong, sources confirmed at this time.

Cruise, who owes his superstardom to his portrayal of sizzling shot Navy fighter pilot “Maverick” as he trains on the elite “Prime Gun” pilot faculty, says he’s excited to begin filming an replace to the 1986 blockbuster. Though moviegoers loved the dogfighting scenes and homoerotic seaside volleyball matches of the unique movie, Cruise says his position shall be fairly totally different in “Prime Gun 2,” which is filming underneath the codename “Gold Base.”

“The movie goes to be nice, completely incredible,” Cruise informed reporters. “I can’t actually give away too many particulars, however I can let you know that I’m coming again as Maverick and Val [Kilmer] shall be again as Iceman.”

Based on sources, “Prime Gun 2” is ready roughly 25 years after the unique the place we meet “Maverick,” a washed-up former naval aviator who has discovered work as a cargo pilot for a Chinese language toy producer that focuses on novelty poop. As a flashback scene reveals, the profession of Cruise’s heroic character Lt. Pete Mitchell ended after he was dismissed from the Navy for his position as a ringleader within the Tailhook scandal of 1991.

After leaving the Navy, he turns into depressed, gaining weight and changing into an alcoholic — although he ultimately runs into his former commanding officer, who helps him get a job. “And also you asshole, you’re fortunate to be right here!” the officer tells him in a highly-motivating speech, in keeping with a partially-leaked script.

After assembly up along with his previous buddy “Iceman” on a layover in San Francisco, each former Prime Gun rivals take off their shirts for a sport of volleyball whereas scaring away the native youngsters attributable to their beer bellies and use of profanity.

Then, sources say, a mysterious official from the US Navy reveals up, telling each that they’re wanted for a high secret mission to coach the following era of elite drone pilots. Now again in uniform as Navy O-5s, the pair of former fighter jockeys practice America’s finest video avid gamers whereas additionally enduring horrifying battles towards the Protection Journey System and studying to insert animations and sounds into PowerPoint briefings for the admirals.

Later within the movie, Maverick and Iceman each high-five as they are saying in unison, “I really feel the necessity. The necessity, for velocity!” prompting a Navy Substance Abuse and Rehabilitation Program counselor to confront them over what seems to be a plea for methamphetamines.

“Prime Gun 2” is slated to start filming in 2018, so long as Cruise doesn’t start work on the 18th iteration of the Mission: Not possible sequence.

Lieutenant Dan contributed reporting.

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