by

Stage 63 Paladin granted non secular exemption to develop neckbeard

FORT MEADE, Md. – A sailor efficiently petitioned for unrestrained progress of his facial hair on the grounds of non secular expression, sources aboard Cryptologic Warfare Group Six revealed right this moment.

The Navy’s controversial dedication permits the pious sailor to maintain together with his World of Warcraft (WoW) religion as a loyal servant of the Holy Gentle and follows carefully on the heels of a latest resolution by the Air Power granting a Muslim airman the fitting to put on a beard.

“Lo, a wonderful day for Azeroth, certainly, that I’d champion the reason for my brothers,” declared native holy warrior, Quest4Cameltō, squeezing one of many many pustular follicles erupting from the pubescent tangle of greasy, unkempt hair beneath his chins.

Quest4Cameltō, a paladin from the holdfast of Stromgarde, goes by the title of Cryptologic Technician (Interpretive) Seaman Kevin Dietrich within the materials world and practices the overseas tongue of historical Mesopotamia, offering translations and intelligence reviews for additional evaluation.

“Alas, please chorus from addressing me as such,” the godly knight requested. “Verily, I’m however a lowly Stage three peon amongst the uniformed ranks of the Navy, however right here,” he mentioned, with a sweeping gesture in direction of his two, 32-inch 4K UHD displays, “Right here, I’m a mighty Stage 63 guardian of justice, smiting the depraved and dealing swift retribution to the minions of the Burning Legion.”

WoW is a massively multiplayer on-line role-playing sport worshiped by many sailors and members of the intelligence neighborhood. Practicers assume alternate identities as mighty heroes and intrepidly embark on mystical quests with pals and strangers within the pursuit of loot and expertise factors.

“That is my life,” mentioned Dietrich, proudly sporting the facial hair customary to males of his order.

Grooming requirements have prohibited sailors from rising beards since 1984, though medical exemptions have been granted on a case-by-case foundation for sailors with pseudofolliculitis barbae — colloquially generally known as “razor bumps.” The relentless and unforgiving pores and skin situation predominantly impacts Black Individuals and repair members who intentionally shave in opposition to the grain as a way to acquire a no-shave chit.

Dietrich had lengthy fought to rectify the injustices the Navy levied in opposition to his non secular beliefs, in accordance with colleagues, and finally resorted to submitting a grievance beneath the Equal Alternative Program.

“Who am I to face between a man-child and his god?” requested Gerald Housemann, inspector common for U.S. Fleet Cyber Command. “These determinations have to be divined by powers larger than mine personal.”

The resplendent paladin’s case is the newest in a flurry of efforts by the Navy to chill out grooming requirements, together with permission for female and male sailors to put on their hair in man-buns and ponytails.

As the search for unchecked non secular equality presses on, Dietrich was noticed at medical in search of exemption from the Physique Composition Evaluation.

Comments

comments