ISIS unfollows STRATCOM on Twitter after offensive New 12 months’s tweet

Offutt Air Drive Base, Neb. – The terrorist group ISIS has “unfollowed” the U.S. Strategic Command on Twitter after struggling psychological anguish by latest STRATCOM messaging, presumably taking data warfare to a brand new course, sources affirm at the moment.

The ISIS transfer is a response to a Dec. 31, 2018, STRATCOM tweet that said because the famed ball dropped on Instances Sq., the Command remained able to “drop one thing a lot, a lot larger.” A video of a B-2 plane dropping bombs accompanied the tweet. STRATCOM deleted it after complaints about its aggressive message.

ISIS launched the assertion criticizing the video.

“Within the title of Allah, essentially the most merciful, we are going to now not observe the prison crusader U.S. Strategic Command on Twitter,” the assertion reads. “The photographs STRATCOM tweeted on New 12 months’s Eve, threatening to drop bombs on our brethren, was hurtful and scary. A number of of our brothers who considered it have already scheduled emergency classes with their therapists. The tweet additionally disturbed our enjoyment of the Ryan Seacrest New 12 months’s Instances Sq. particular.”

STRATCOM questioned ISIS’ response in a press convention.

“Our data warfare staff is analyzing the ISIS announcement for any hidden messages to followers.” public affairs officer Capt. Pamela Vasquez stated. “We’re additionally analyzing the chance that ISIS is appearing like a giant worldwide wuss.”

“We continuously tweet splashy photos of B-1s, B-2s, B-52s, ICBMs, plane of every kind, closely armed Airmen, and nuclear submarines –  mainly an infinite commercial of our capacity to ship nuclear annihilation at anyplace of our time and selecting,” Vasquez added. “If these tweets didn’t scare anybody, we weren’t doing our job. So we’re unsure why ISIS or anyone else is butthurt over our one measly New 12 months’s message.”

“What do folks suppose our bombers do?” Vasquez questioned.“Regardless of the press tales final 12 months, navy plane are know for killing folks, not simply drawing contrail dicks within the sky.”

The STRATCOM Twitter residence web page signifies that the command nonetheless has over 98,000 followers regardless of the ISIS departure.

“We hope ISIS re-follows us quickly, as a result of we’re planning some nice imaging for President’s Day depicting George Washington and Abraham Lincoln turning the launch keys on an ICBM that individuals ought to actually take pleasure in,”  Vasquez stated.