F-35 revealed to be horror film M. Evening Shyamalan has been engaged on for years

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WILLISTOWN, Penn. — In maybe essentially the most daring plot twist of his profession, movie director M. Evening Shyamalan has revealed that all the trillion greenback F-35 program is a horror film he has been engaged on for the previous decade, sources confirmed in the present day.

“I actually needed to discover the depths of the military-industrial complicated and the human psyche in an age of uncertainty,” stated Shyamalan. “That, and I used to be fairly rattling excessive after I wrote it.”

Whereas critics have panned a lot of his current movies, most are actually saying that his newest undertaking, whereas “not fairly pretty much as good as The Sixth Sense,” is perhaps higher than sci-fi thriller Indicators.

“Outstanding. A tour de power,” hailed Richard Roeper of the Chicago Solar-Occasions. “The plot was crafted so meticulously that he fooled a complete protection business into considering that the aircraft would really work.”

Even these within the army neighborhood had been relieved, with many praising the ending as “the best second in movie because the volleyball scene in High Gun.”

“Solely an artist of Evening’s caliber may have integrated so many intriguing plot twists,” stated Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Employees Gen. Joseph Dunford. “Value overruns, efficiency points, components being made in China, schematics getting hacked. 5 stars.”

Whereas Shyamalan has served as a deus ex machina for the F-35 program, he says the movie is merely a foreshadowing of larger issues to return.

“Spoiler alert: I made Iraq and Afghanistan, too,” he added. “And I used to be completely on acid after I wrote the ending.”

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