JOINT BASE MCGUIRE-DIX-LAKEHURST, N.J. — In an effort to hitch the E-Four mafia, an area soldier has as a substitute joined the precise mafia, sources confirmed immediately. Newly-promoted Spc. Rafael Hernandez first realized one thing was amiss when, in line with his testimony in court docket, he caught a hastily-constructed shiv into the bottom of an
PENTAGON — Very similar to the seek for the golden ticket in Willy Wonka, the nation has erupted right into a candy Fortnite gaming sesh that doubles as actual world operation to pick out the chief of all U.S. forces, sources confirmed at the moment. Billed as a battle royale online game, Fortnite has gamers vie
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DOHA, Qatar — Chief U.S. negotiator Zalmay Khalilzad repeated assurances in the present day he acquired from the Taliban that they’re “completely going to put down their weapons and turn into peace loving, democratic civilians as quickly as American forces depart.” American representatives have been engaged in talks with Taliban leaders in hope of a
CAMP LEMONNIER, Djibouti – Pfc. Braddock Chase, the best velocity motivator within the 1-167th Infantry doesn’t take heed to the haters and draggers and prefers to see the burn pits as half full, sources confirmed right this moment. “A whole lot of guys, you understand, give attention to the unhealthy shit. I give attention to how
Fort Bragg, N.C. — An organization commander is expressing shock and dismay that after six years within the Military a future murderer has but to journey again in time and try to kill him, sources confirmed in the present day. Capt. Ben Hawkingson, an organization commander with the 82nd Airborne Division, has completed each objective
Have we reached the top of publicly-supported, mutli-decade wars that don’t have any estimable completion deadline and no clear-cut goals? Now that they’re performed ruining the turkey trade, it seems that millennials have discovered one other staple of the American economic system to kill. Current polls performed by Stanford College have indicated that youth born
SAN DIEGO — Non-deployable sailors can breathe a heavy sigh of reduction as Navy officers plan to implement its new “Deploy or Get Promoted” coverage, sources confirmed at this time. The brand new coverage, deemed ingenious by CNN army analysts, will make sure the Navy floods its higher ranks with sailors who’re injured, lazy, PT-failing,
PENTAGON — The Division of Protection is getting ready to discipline a brand new life-skills program aimed toward serving to service members about to separate from lively service break the compulsive behavior of drawing penises in all places, sources confirmed at this time. The launch of the “Cock-Stopper Class,” comes within the wake of a U.S.
PENTAGON — The Division of Protection is getting ready to subject a brand new life-skills program geared toward serving to service members about to separate from lively service break the compulsive behavior of drawing penises in every single place, sources confirmed at present. The launch of the “Cock-Stopper Class,” comes within the wake of a U.S.