U.S.S. LEYTE GULF — Culinary Specialist 2nd Class James Mendoza is bringing innovation and restaurant-style aptitude to his galley, giving millennial sailors their favourite gastronomic traits away from residence.
“Millennials love small plates and tasting menus,” mentioned Mendoza, putting 4 rooster nuggets in an suave squiggle of runny barbecue sauce. “Not solely does this make the sailors really feel extra at residence, it helps me be a very good steward of taxpayer dollars.”
Mendoza’s spot-on renderings of the nation’s prime eating places embody serving small parts family-style, a “prix fixe” set menu, and even pleasant espresso and bug juice pairings for every meal.
“I used to simply get eight rooster nuggets thrown on a tray with some canned peas and eight minutes to eat it,” mentioned Chief Petty Officer Kyle Miller. “Since Mendoza got here on board, I get six rooster nuggets to share with 4 of my shipmates, southern-style peas with child onions on one other plate, and toasted breadbowl to share. It’s so enjoyable, as a result of I get to attempt somewhat little bit of all the pieces in eight minutes!”
“It takes some additional time, mixing the Texas Pete with the Skilcraft-brand mayonnaise, but it surely’s price it to maintain the very best younger women and men on this planet energized and nourished,” mentioned Mendoza. “Simply wait till you see the artisanal Szechuan sauce drizzle i’m whipping up for yakisoba evening,” he added, motioning to tubs of soy sauce and grade-C “vegetable ketchup.”
“I used to get so irritated after I needed to wait in a line that snaked across the nook to get chow,” mentioned Seaman Roddy Swallows, a Brooklyn native with thick-framed glasses. “Since Mendoza received right here, it simply jogs my memory of attempting to get into essentially the most of-the second Jewish-Hawaiian fusion noodle bar again residence. He actually is the very best within the Navy.”
Not everybody has been on board with Mendoza’s makes an attempt to convey his galley into the 21st century.
“That is fucking bullshit,” mentioned Senior Chief Randall Key. “It’s simply much less meals on extra plates. Sharing plates? Like shit I share. He simply put the noodles on a separate plate from the meatballs and piped the marinara on with a caulking gun. Millennials are killing the navy. ”
Sources affirm that Mendoza will proceed unobstructed, as Key has not eaten an entire meal since 1994 and subsists totally on espresso, Copenhagen, and sweet bars confiscated throughout well being and welfare inspections.
“I can’t complain about his expresso bar, although,” continued Key as he slurped down his fourth flat white of the morning. On the time of printing, Mendoza had not revealed the 400% improve in Nestle freeze-dried espresso requisitions.
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