THE PENTAGON — The U.S. navy’s senior enlisted man says he’ll personally journey to Syria quickly to personally beat ISIS chief Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi over the top with an entrenching device, sources confirmed right now.
Military Command Sgt. Maj. John Troxell, the senior enlisted adviser to Joint Chiefs Chairman Gen. Joe Dunford, vowed to strangle and bludgeon al-Baghdadi if the phobia group chief doesn’t give up.
“ISIS wants to know that the Joint Power is on orders to annihilate them,” Troxell stated in a video posted to Fb. “So, they’ve two choices ought to they resolve to return up in opposition to america, our allies and companions: give up or die!”
“And let me let you know yet one more factor: I WANT AL-BAGHDADI! I WANT AL-BAGHDADI!” Troxell added, earlier than slamming his fingers on the desk in entrance of him and pointing immediately on the digicam.
In response to sources, Troxell has been seen in latest days strolling across the Pentagon carrying solely his private E-Instrument, which he usually pats into his reverse hand throughout conferences. The soldier was additionally noticed in his workplace sharpening a big Bowie knife and making use of camouflage face paint, a senior protection official stated.
“We are going to kill [ISIS] with excessive prejudice,” Troxell instructed reporters. “Meaning dropping bombs on them, taking pictures them within the face, beating them to dying with our entrenching instruments, stomping on their lips with our boots, pushing them over cliffs as they scream for mercy, and capturing them, stitching their assholes shut, and persevering with to feed them till they burst.”
Though Troxell is worked up on the prospect of turning Baghdadi’s face right into a bloody mush along with his E-Instrument, sources at Pentagon provide warn the sergeant main must pay for the gear if there’s any extra blood on it.
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