Military’s new ‘Holistic Medics’ deal with gunshot wounds with crystals, important oils

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FORT SAM HOUSTON, Texas — In an effort to match the broad vary of medical remedies obtainable to the civilian inhabitants, the U.S. Military has launched a brand new breed of battlefield medic, the service introduced Friday.

The brand new MOS, Complementary Medication Specialist (69W), or “holistic medic,” can be educated in quite a lot of different medical remedies, starting from aromatherapy to interventional prayer, and can be licensed to prescribe drugs like megavitamins and homeopathic dilutions.

“There’s nice demand for treating warfighter accidents with extra pure, holistic cures,” stated Col. Thomas Sorrenson, commander of the brand new program. “So the place a standard fight medic treats an amputated limb with a tourniquet and hemostatic gauze, our protocol opts for a healing-hands reiki session adopted by some cleaning herbs.”

“It’s a extra integrative strategy,” he stated. “In any case, what’s actually extra necessary: stopping huge blood loss and stopping shock, or curing a devastating disruption of a soldier’s chi?”

In lieu of typical trauma provides like bandages, tourniquets, and chest seals, holistic medics’ assist luggage can be stocked with colon cleanse kits, prayer beads, and ginkgo biloba auto-injectors.

Sgt. 1st Class Nick Bye, an teacher within the holistic medic course, advised Duffel Weblog that the coaching to grow to be a 69W is intense.

“The course consists of each lecture and hands-on instruction,” stated Bye. “Holistic medics must not solely know their pharmacology, akin to which important oils to make use of for native anesthesia, but additionally sensible expertise, like stopping a sucking chest wound in beneath 30 seconds by the facility of constructive pondering.”

“Certain, some have dismissed our strategies as ‘pseudoscience,’ however we’ve demonstrated a 100% success charge,” he added with a assured smile. “We haven’t misplaced a coaching model but.”

At Brooke Military Medical Heart, the pressure is already witnessing the results of the brand new strategies of care.

“Fairly positive I broke my ankle fast-roping from a UH-60, so I assumed I’d be getting some X-rays and painkillers right this moment,” Spc. Timothy Steiner advised reporters from a hospital mattress. “As an alternative this dude places some magnets subsequent to my leg and says that we simply have to ‘redirect my physique’s very important vitality subject.’”

“Then he stated he’d order some therapeutic crystals and left the room,” he continued. “I actually hope ‘crystals’ is a few sort of physician discuss for Percocet. My vitality subject is fucking killing me.”

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