FORT SAM HOUSTON, Texas — U.S. Military North commander Lt. Gen. Jeffrey S. Buchanan, who failed a land navigation course as a lieutenant, mistakenly reported for obligation as we speak at U.S. Military South, sources confirmed.
His confusion might have occurred as a result of U.S. Military North (ARNORTH) is situated on the identical set up — Fort Sam Houston — as U.S. Military South (ARSOUTH). Or it might be that officers of all ranks can’t inform left from proper, or north from south.
Maj. Gen. Mark R. Stammer, the commander of ARSOUTH, was reportedly shocked to see a lieutenant normal standing exterior his workplace asking the chief of employees for the most recent weekly battle rhythm, updates on that SIPRNet challenge, and whether or not anybody had restocked rest room paper within the “little normal’s latrine.”
“I assumed I’d been fired,” mentioned Stammer. “You know the way this administration removes folks with out telling them first,” noting that he even had his govt officer verify social media however there was written about him from the president on Twitter.
Relieved to seek out out he hadn’t been relieved, Stammer then escorted Buchanan again to his automobile — he’d forgotten the place he parked it — and pointed within the normal path of ARNORTH headquarters on the “Quadrangle,” the well-known stone fort a number of miles away.
“You don’t want grid coordinates for this one, sir,” mentioned Stammer. “Simply search for the stone fort with the large clock tower the place all of the officers are leaving at 1500.”
Buchanan — who assumed command of ARNORTH again in 2016 — then kind of drove towards his personal headquarters, working off the street a number of occasions and scattering some troopers doing bodily coaching. “Sorry,” he reportedly informed them. “This GPS is killing me.”
At press time, ARNORTH’s Command Sgt. Maj. Ronald E. Orosz was seen furiously making an attempt to wave off Buchanan from reporting for obligation on the submit shoppette on Wilson Method.