Turkey Tours

Turkey Tours

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Air Pressure publicizes 100% promotion price to main, aside from you, asshole

RANDOLPH AFB — The U.S. Air Pressure introduced final week that, in an effort to restore its readiness, 100% of captains could be promoted to main, aside from you, asshole. Regardless of being assured that each single captain in america Air Pressure is deserving of a better degree of accountability — even that self-serving douchebag Capt.

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US Air Pressure turns 70; seems ahead to retirement in spring

THE PENTAGON — Air Pressure Chief of Employees Gen. David Goldfein revealed throughout the service’s 70th party at the moment that the service was planning to retire someday within the spring. Additionally current for the announcement was Air Pressure Secretary Heather Wilson, who praised the service report of the Air Pressure, and revealed how the

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Whole US Army to put on diapers after lieutenant shits pants

THE PENTAGON — In response to the surprising soiling of a lieutenant’s underwear, each member of the U.S. armed forces will now be required to put on diapers, Duffel Weblog has discovered. The coverage is to be applied “as quickly as humanly attainable,” in keeping with an unsigned memorandum distributed through electronic mail. Military Lt.

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Marine who hasn’t slept in 32 hours is lazy and undisciplined, platoon sergeant experiences

Cpl Rodriguez handles high-explosive ordinance regardless of being briefly cognitively impaired. (Photograph: US Marine Corps) CAMP PENDLETON, Calif. —  A U.S. Marine presently experiencing neurological degeneration attributable to extreme sleep deprivation is lazy and extremely undisciplined, his platoon sergeant says. Cpl. Michael Rodriguez, a mortar squad chief with 1st Battalion, fifth Marines, was informally recommended for

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MOTIVATING! The 10 finest songs from the International Struggle on Terror, ranked

In case you served within the International Struggle on Terror, the lengthy conflict is thought for a few issues: Shadowy enemies, combating unhealthy guys with shifting aims and little technique, and actually superior music. Properly, associates, we’re right here to provide the definitive rating of the BEST music of the GWOT. Strap in, it’s going

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DUFFEL BLOG PRESENTS: Salon.com offers your weekend security transient

That is for you, the Marine, soldier, sailor, airman, or no matter different title we give to the residing instruments of imperialist aggression. Look on these phrases and the insufferable whiteness of the web page behind them and grow to be woke to the risks of the weekend. First, verify your liberty privilege. A lot

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Afghanistan says it has endured sufficient freedom

KABUL — Afghanistan is telling buddies that it has determined to interrupt up with long-time boyfriend Freedom. “We’ve endured sufficient,” sources say the burka-clad magnificence informed gal-pals. Neighbors say the southwest Asian nation has been fairly vocal about its emotions. One pleasant nation, who would solely give its first identify as “Tajik,” claims the mountainous